i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
