I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
