I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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