ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
