So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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