I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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