You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
