Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
