somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
