what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Duck Duck Cougar?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
