there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
