Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize