he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
