so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
