I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
