Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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