I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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