idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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