Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
