My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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