just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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