I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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