Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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