I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
