so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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