Please, let me fuck your mom
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
