Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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