Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
