Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
