I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
