Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
