First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
