he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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