oh god the rape fog is back!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
