I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
