singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
