i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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