We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
