I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you guys were way drunker than both of me
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
