I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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