he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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