didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
