Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
