I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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