Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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