just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I didn't shave. On purpose
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
