The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
