You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
