yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
