I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
