you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize