he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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