Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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