All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just want nice things and good sex
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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