Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
