i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We have started to decorate penises.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
