I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
