It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
