Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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