The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
