I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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