I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My ass is underappreciated
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
