margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
