It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
