Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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