my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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