in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
