he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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