Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
